What does it mean?

When I was first discerning my call to ministry, one of the things I struggled with was "what will people think when I say I want to be a pastor?"

Would my friends treat me differently?

Would my professors from Wheaton who encouraged me to think globally be disappointed?

Will people think I'm a Jesus freak?

After a little over a month here at seminary...I'm still not over this question.

It's not that I'm uncomfortable with my call or what I want to do - if anything, being here is reaffirming my decision daily. But, there's still this discomfort telling people that I want to be a pastor because I don't know what their perceptions of pastors are, I don't know their perceptions of the church...I don't know what they're going to think. And, it's not that I don't know what they're going to think of me - if anything, I've been really encouraged by people's reactions to ME becoming a pastor - it's more, I don't know what they think of that word: Pastor...Minister...Jesus freak.

So, perhaps in an attempt for some self-validation, here's my meager attempt to define that word...it's my definition, others might not define it this way...but here's how I see my call:

Healer: wounds that are physical as well as spiritual and emotional; and healing that is physical, spiritual and emotional as well.

Listener: to both God's call and how I'm meant to carry out that call, but also to people in my life who are calling me to be there for them.

Guide: my education will help me guide others on a journey of faith

Companion: my own journey will follow closely with those I'm leading and will look to those who are leading me

Learner: our relationship with God is an every growing, ever evolving thing that will require that I keep exploring and learning.

Advocate: for all of God's creation: seen and unseen, heard and unheard, breathing and providing the oxygen we breathe in.

Child of God: with all of the faults and blessings that come with it.

I guess in all of this, I've just thought that I'm going to be "me" but as a pastor. And, that's still partially true - but the more time I spend here, the more I realize that I'm being transformed - not into anything special or particularly holier than anything/one else: but, I'm being transformed into a deeper and broader "me." It feels great.